Thursday, September 22, 2011

Lesson 19: Just like my screaming baby in her highchair...

Yesterday was a doozie! It began with a less than stellar can ask my friends I work with how I made a crying fool of myself! By the time I got home with Julia we were getting ready to eat supper and walk out the door for church. I think we may have been home 45 minutes total before we left. In those short few minutes she decides to have one of the biggest breakdowns I think I have ever seen. She had no desire whatsoever to stay in her highchair and eat...and I was determined she was going to stay and at least get in a few bites!!! Needless to say, after she started hyperventilating (literally) I finally got her out of the highchair. That really didn't help because at that point she was so far gone it took the rest of the time at home to get her to stop crying! Then, off to church...having not eaten a bite mind you :)

After I got home and Julia went down for the night, I threw my own little tantrum. Directed at whom, you might ask? None other than the One who gave me that sweet child in the first place. I was really struggling with the not being a stay-at-home mom issue...again. "If You are able to fix this, then why aren't You doing anything about it??"....."On a day that we are only home for 45 minutes, does our time together have to be a fighting match...not really any quality time?"..."  And the questions went on...and on...and on. Thankfully, what I had read earlier in the day popped back in my mind to help me get through the onslaught of all those emotions!...

"I'm on a diet of tears - tears for breakfast, tears for supper (didn't really know this was going to be what I had for breakfast and supper...ha!)... Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God - soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God. When my soul is in the dumps, I rehearse everything I know of you, From Jordan depths to Hermon heights, including Mount Mizar (my Jordan depths would be how He walked us through the past 3 years of life...rehearsing over and over again what I remembered to be true of His character, not just what I felt at the time)... ~ excerpts from Psalm 42.  I wonder sometimes why my auto-pilot response is to question God instead of trust Him immediately. I certainly have no clue what He is working in our lives but I do know He is reliable. I guess that is something David struggled with as well...he had to rehearse over and over again in his mind all of the experiences in his life where God had been faithful. I have those times too where I can look back and see how He brought us through something painful, or difficult.  So at the end of yesterday I realized that the way I looked at Julia pitching a fit in her highchair was the same way God was looking at me pitching my fit. In spite of my wanting to get out of this unpleasant situation, He realizes (like I did with Julia) that sometimes staying put is the best thing...even if it isn't what I want...or like. 

Not every high chair moment is a bad one :)

Monday, September 19, 2011

Lesson 18: Everything Changes...almost :)

Just when I am getting used to Julia's current stage...she changes!
During her first few weeks everything was so simple...leaned back in the Boppy with the play toys hanging above her head...we would lay in the floor and "talk" forever on those days! Then she started sitting up. Still not so bad. "This is so fun," I would think...and again she would  be in one spot, playing with her toys. Got used to that and she started crawling. And it got interesting here. She was everywhere into everything! After the first few panic attacks I realized crawling wasn't so bad after all. I could still manage with her being "mobile." Then the week before her birthday she started walking. I had no clue how this really would change everything!! My thoughts were, "All of the other stages have been easy enough to handle...this one shouldn't be so bad..." Not true at all!

I don't mean "bad" as in something terrible or anything like that...I just mean nothing too hard to deal with. Boy was I in for a shock.

A few days ago we were sitting in the living room watching one of her shows and Tim was on the computer. I got up to go to the bathroom and Tim stayed with Julia in the living room. After I came back into the living room I noticed Julia was not there. I asked Tim where she was...which in retrospect was a really stupid question...since he would have been with her had he known she wasn't in the room...He said he didn't know...he thought she was with me and then off we ran! Around the corner we went to find her halfway up our staircase...turned around smiling. Geez. We win parent of the year award for that one. Needless to say, the walking stage has presented the most problems :)

All of this to make me think of my  life...each of my life stages have come with different challenges (no need to really discuss anything in particular here to save myself from major embarrassment!). Just when I am getting used to how my schedule is or where I am in life, something changes. In times like these I really find encouragement in these words...

"Jesus Christ is the SAME, yesterday, today, and forever."  ~ Hebrews 13:8
Glad I have this to hold onto today.

My little, walking girl :)

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Lesson 17: Seeing it through her eyes

We had a GREAT weekend at the beach with my family! We spent our long weekend being lazy and eating good seafood. It was a lot of fun seeing everything through Julia's eyes. She had been to the beach before but she was very little and wasn't very impressed with her unfamiliar surroundings :) This weekend, however, was a lot different. We couldn't get in the door of our condo without her "ooo-ing" and "aah-ing" at everything in sight! The on the wall...the bathroom mirrors...even the leather couch in the lobby. I think she wanted to get out of Dothan as badly as we did!!!

The last night we went to eat at the Saltwater Grill...which, by the way, was amazing! They had a 25,000 gallon saltwater fish tank right inside the front door. It really made for a cool dining experience. She screamed and laughed the minute she saw all of those "pishies" (her word for fish).

I had been there before and remembered the fish tank and the great food. It was a good memory with family, but it paled in comparison with how fun it was experiencing it all through her eyes. She had the best time watching those fish. We all had the best time watching her :) It just makes me look forward to all of the other vacations we will have and what all she has to experience in her lifetime.

I mean if the fish tank was that exciting, can you even imagine what she will do at a place like Disney World??... ha! :)

I guess she was blowing a kiss to the fish :)