Friday, June 8, 2012

Lesson 21: "I Do It Mama..."

We are in Newnan, GA this weekend spending some time together as a family of three. We have never taken a vacation by this has been a fun learning experience to say the least! :) A lot of time has been spent being lazy which has been WONDERFUL!!! This morning we got up and went down to the indoor pool at our hotel. Julia loves getting in the water so the screams began as soon as we opened the door. I loved watching her get in. Big smiles...loosing her breath when she hit the water...lots of splashing...and squealing. It was inevitable however, that whenever she got in the water only a few minutes went by before she started squirming and repeating several...hundred...times, "I do it Mama." She really believed with everything she's worth that she really could "do it" all by herself.

As I held her I evaluated this silly situation. She most certainly cannot, at 1 year old, swim alone. But she certainly feels all 28 of her little pounds...that she can.

That was me a year ago in my relationship with Christ.

I honestly thought there was a lot that I could do right by myself. See...I was raised in a family of strong...or well, strong-willed women. We always "handle" things ourselves. I had always thought that was the way my life really operated.

One year ago today that way of thinking stopped. I sat in the waiting room of Emory Hospital in Atlanta, GA waiting on Tim to come through open heart surgery. There has never been a more horrifying, helpless, suffocating, useless feeling than the one I had that day. I had not one ounce of control over anything. All I had was a cell phone that the hospital issued for me to receive phone calls from the operating room. The waiting room was filled with family and friends who had all sacrificed to come be with us during this difficult time. Even surrounded by all of those people, loneliness still crept in somehow. It was in the moments like that I understood that I may have thought I could do it by myself...but I couldn't...still can't.

Psalm 121 is a great reminder to me that even though I may be going through a time where life feels out of control God is taking care of it. Read and be encouraged.

"I lift my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
Who made heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
Behold, He who keeps Israel
Will neither slumber nor sleep.

The Lord is your keeper.
The Lord is your shade on your right hand.
The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

The Lord will keep you from all evil;
He will keep your life.
The Lord will your going out and your coming in
From this time forth and forevermore."

"I do it Mama"