For those of you who don't know, I went into early labor at 32 1/2 weeks. We were rushed to Sacred Heart Hospital in Pensacola, FL. We stayed there for 16 days and ended up coming home...with the bun still in the oven :) It is so neat to read this and think about where my family was exactly one year ago. Julia wasn't even here yet...I was a little scared and in a season of questioning God's intentions and reasoning for what He was allowing in our lives. I think this is a wonderful reason to write things down, or journal about our lives....because just to be honest I am in another season of questioning...about something totally different of course...but to look back and see where He has brought us from is very encouraging. It just reaffirms my faith in Him.
So here is August 14th...one year ago :)
No more meds! I stopped taking all medications Monday. I guess I was thinking that I would have Julia 10 minutes later...haha! I am quickly learning that this is totally going to happen on her time clock! Tim and I wonder if this is a good sign of things to come :)
While waiting I can't help but be overcome with thankfulness that God showed us mercy in this situation. He didn't have to do the things He has done. We were so worried that she was going to come early and here we are looking at 37 weeks on Friday! What a blessing!
I have learned a very valuable lesson in all of this. It is ok for us to go through a period of questioning God...even if it seems harsh or out of line. I have been reading about Naomi and Ruth. Naomi was so devastated after her husband and sons died that when she returned home she didn't even want to keep her name. She wanted a name that meant what she was feeling at that time. Her exact words were,
"Don't call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the Almighty has dealt very bitterly with me. I went away full and came back empty. Why call me Naomi, when the Lord has testified against me and the Almighty has brought calamity upon me?" Ruth 1: 20-21.
If we were all honest with ourselves we would say we have all been at a place in our lives where we felt exactly like she did. Another great example from another familiar person...David asked in Psalm 22, "My God, My God, why have You forsaken me." Or in our words today, "God, why are You not relieving this pain or answering my prayers?" That is DEFINITELY a familiar place for all of us...if we are honest with ourselves! There are so many examples in the Bible of people going through seasons of questioning. Jesus asked God for "this cup to be taken from me" right before He was going to be crucified.
So I guess my question today is, why aren't we honest with God more? Why do we feel like we have to hide what we are going through from Him? He wants us to talk to Him about those things too.
I have found out through this experience that we will have seasons of questioning...but there are also seasons of refreshing. The blessings we ask for are not always packaged like we think they should be. He has our best interest in mind.
Lord help me learn to know that it is ok for me to ask You questions. It doesn't mean that I don't love You or that You will be mad at me. You already know anyway! Thank You for being a God that allows us to come to You honestly. Thank You for the seasons of refreshing...and the seasons of questions.
"The Lord has done great things for us, we are filled with joy." Psalm 126:3
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| Sunday, August 15th, 2010 |
2 comments:
WOW! I remember reading that post on your other blog... it doesn't seem like that was a year ago already! How times flies. I am glad you are blogging again, and hopefully you'll still be blogging next year when you look back on this day. :)
Yes, the Lord has done great things for us...everytime I hold JuJu and watch her as she is crawling around or with her hands up in the air I am reminded of His great love for us. We are continuing to ask God for a miracle...and we are expecting Him to answer in His time...until then we press on and continue to pray. I love you Em...and am blessed to be your mom:)
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