Lesson 9: Give neither counsel or salt until you are asked for it.

With a baby, new parents can look forward to lots of diapers, sleepless nights, bottles, visits to Target (just needed to throw that one in there), poop, and ADVICE!!! I had no clue that lots of people around me were baby experts until I had Julia. They had all been under cover until she came along...

So what was it about those people that made them think I needed their advice? Now don't get me wrong...I would be a fool if I didn't listen to the wisdom that some people have given me over the past year...I mean there were times it was a matter of life and death for my baby had I not heeded the advice given by others. With that said, I am not talking about the advice that is good or even necessary. I am talking about this kind...

"If she is not sleeping through the night, then give her a thimble full of Jack Daniels. That should do the trick."
"Well, when my kids were young, I did (insert something ridiculous here) and it worked every time."
"You SHOULD have tried (whatever you can think of here). You are just inexperienced. It will get better."
"Try having more than one child under the age of one. THAT'S when it gets hard."

Or how about when someone is holding your baby and is talking in a sweet baby voice and the baby is cooing and laughing and all of a sudden the person keeps the sweet baby voice but says something like,

"That's a sweet baby. Tell your mommy to try to keep her house a little cleaner and maybe you could have more room to play in here."

ARE YOU KIDDING ME???

That's the kind of advice I have trouble with. I mean, do these people (mostly women, who have already raised their kids, but forgotten what it is like to be a young mom) really think this is helpful??

I know in Proverbs it talks endlessly about advice and wisdom..."Wise people take advice"..."Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail, take good counsel and watch them succeed." The key words are GOOD ADVICE. Listen to the good advice. All of that listed above has really been said to me...people honestly thought that would do me good to hear those "pearls of wisdom."

In this indirect, but oh so direct, lesson from Julia today, I want to remember how I feel as a young, new mom...that having and raising a child does require help from others who have done all of this before...but at the same time a good mommy knows her child better than any other person, no matter how old they are or how many kids they have had. A mom knows her child the best...(a very wise person told me that last week).


Good quote..."He that gives good advice builds with one hand, but he that gives good advice and example builds with both."

I have to learn to listen only to the good, Godly wisdom, from people that are living what they are saying. Hard one to learn...all those other voices can be so loud some days.

Don't wanna hear it!